A Post-Debate Pep Talk for Barack Obama

Hey Barack Obama,

Rough night last night. Your 20th anniversary with Michelle and you’ve got to do ‘super important President stuff’ with the debate and all. That’s a BIG withdrawal from the Bank of Brownie Points and it didn’t seem like you were at least having fun. Not to mention, I’m sure being the President has created some real challenges in your marriage. Might want to get the lady some flowers and a nice card this morning. Maybe agree to watch The Notebook tonight.

Here’s the thing, though. Mitt Romney came into last night stumbling, bruised and ready to lose the campaign. You’re a nice guy and I respect that, but a man’s got to be able to tap into the killer inside when he’s in a fight. He’s got to throw the haymaker when he sees the opening. You, Mr. President, are in a fight. Mitt is trying to take your job and if he wins, he will take with it your legacy and the direction this country is moving in, which is something I hope you believe is best left in your hands. You know that and you had the chance to strike the killing blow last night but you let him get away. You let him win.

Listen, I like what you stand for and where you came from but I also like the intellect and poise that Romney put on display last night. He presented his argument like a truly impressive tactician. There’s something to be said for that. ‘Trickle Down Government’? What a buzz phrase! Tax reform that lowers the rate and reduces reductions? Enticing.

He didn’t throw a perfect game though.

Take Energy for example. He called his plan ‘Independent Energy’. Again, great use of terminology there. I want America to be Independent. But he left openings for you! When his arms drop, break his nose. He wants us to rely on oil and coal for energy independence by continuing to invest in the established companies and opening up more permits for drilling on American land. Call that plan short-sighted and recklessly ignorant of the economic disasters wrought by oil spills. Present your plan of investing in alternatives as a vision for establishing America’s leadership in the world economy of the future. What happened to ‘Win Our Future’? Isn’t that a better way to ‘Independent Energy’? You teed it up for yourself but you did not swing.

Romney wants to ‘crack down on China when they cheat’? Talk down to him and tell him why he is wrong. Explain to him in front of 50 million viewers that ‘cracking down on China’ won’t really work when they hold $1.2 trillion in American debt. Then publicly lecture him about how America innovates instead of whining. Tie it into your Alternative Energy plan. Bring up the manufacturing contracts you took from their backyard during your trip to India in 2010. Show that you see the way forward!

Maybe you don’t. You made me believe that you saw the way forward in your last election but maybe your vision ended with you getting elected.

Frankly, I think Romney is an extremely intelligent and capable candidate who has the potential to be a great President. I just think he’s the kind of prick who cuts off a line of traffic in his BMW and thinks he’s clever for it. He lied repeatedly last night and he built a rhythm around how foolish it made you look. Call him on it. That game he was playing of denying his $5 trillion tax cut? Call him on it. That $700 billion Medicare cut he made up? Call him on it! Don’t just sit there and smile while he’s insulting you.

Listen carefully here: I’d rather vote for a prick with a plan than for a guy who doesn’t act like he has one.

This isn’t some ‘hoo-rah we want a tough guy for a President’ nonsense. This is about proving to me and the rest of America that you are more than just a rehearsed smile and a man in the right place at the right time of history.

Get it together, man!

Send my best to Michelle,



One thought on “A Post-Debate Pep Talk for Barack Obama

  1. I completely agree with all of your points here – except for one. I wouldn’t say that Romney is the “guy with the plan” and that Obama doesn’t have one. This entire campaign has shown the opposite to be true. In fact, even during the debate, there were several instances of Obama pointing out that Romney STILL has not specified how he plans to follow through with his promises, such as closing enough tax loopholes to avoid both increasing the deficit and hurting the middle class. What Mitt showed in the debate that Obama didn’t was fire, passion, and confidence, even if what he was confidently and passionately spewing was a bundle of lies. Obama needed to pounce on those lies, perhaps show some anger, and we all would be saying that he won instead of Romney.

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